I'm not who I was
by danadramaqueen
Summary: After two years of abandonment from her 'family' if she can call them that anymore. Mai was found paralyzed in her bed a week after S.P.R. Disbanded. Now mai has a care taker named Nami. Although she's now anorexicly skinny, there's still not much she can eat that her body will willingly keep down. What happens when she meets Yato and Yukine one day / Noragami and Ghost hunt


**So this is a different version of the story, ghosthunt the unstable. only it will still have Mai and Nami. It will also include the rest of the ghost hunt characters, and Noragami characters as well.**

Mai...

I'm sitting in my pink wheel chair. I was rolled up to a small round table. I was just starring off into space, unable to talk, unable to move. "Mai, it's time for you to eat. I baked you some bread rolls" Nami said. I just blinked _'Nami I wish I could answer you.'_ Nami pulled out a chair next to me, she sat down, and then turned my wheel chair so I faced her. Nami then feed me the small bread roll.

I was soon being wheeled by Nami into our room. She dressed me for school, my uniform was modified to fit my small body. My ribs showed, my legs looked like bones rapped in a thin blanket of skin. My arms were no different from the rest of my body. My cheeks were sunken in, and my eyes looked hollow, dark bags hung under them. My skin as pale as a porcelain doll. But if I were a porcelain doll I'd be cracked or shattered, only because I'm broken inside.

We soon arrived at school, Nami stayed with me the whole day. Often braiding my long brown locks, and placing fresh cherry blossoms within the folds of my braid. I didn't mind, it's not like I could've protested anyways. Soon school ended and Nami wheeled me home. "Mai I'm going to leave you in our room, I have homework I need to do." Nami said, after she laid me down on my bed. Tears streamed down my hallow cheeks. I dreaded being alone, I dreaded the silence, because that's when my thoughts are the loudest and when the voices spoke the loudest.

 _'No wonder they left you you're a hopeless cause.'_

 _'No I'm not just leave me alone!' 'They never loved you, why don't you just accept it.' 'No they cared for me!' 'Cared as in used to.' 'N-no they still do they still care about me,_

 _r- right?' 'Honey if they cared they wouldn't have left you behind. They wouldn't have left you so broken, so unstable they would have stayed but they didn't.'_

The tears only got worse, my insecurities showing through the cracks. My doubts and fears that constantly plague my fragile mind. My body shook with fear yet I remain paralyzed. I stare at my ceiling waiting, waiting for noise, waiting for a distraction. Memories like a broken tape play through my mind. _'How did I get so pitiful, so broken why am I still breathing?'_

It's only been two years since they left me, since I broke. Since my heart was shattered mercilessly, since I've talked. Yet I only have one question what have I done to myself. I've starved myself, I've hurt myself, I fell apart. Yet they still don't hear me, my silent cries for help. Only Nami can hear, only Nami cares for me.

I hear foot steps approaching my bed. I can't turn my head to see if it's Nami or not. _'God I'm so useless.'_ I waited for Nami's voice, or the sound of movement. But...nothing came, just silence.

I soon fell asleep, only to end up in the astral plane. I still couldn't move or talk, my body just lay flat. "Mai?" A familiar voice questioned. I was soon moved into a sitting position. My bones for legs and arms in clear view.

"What happened to you?" Gene asked me concern etched on his features. I still didn't move, I still didn't talk. The question hung in the air. I wanted to jump up and hug Gene, I wanted to talk to Gene, but I can't I forgot how I'm to weak.

Billions of white orbs still floated around the astral plane. _'They look so free'_ I thought to myself. _'Yeah and that will never be you'_ I don't even understand why we're here we're just a wast of space.' Tear drops dripped from my hollow eyes. Falling into the unknown with out a sound. Hands were pulling me away from Gene. I didn't struggle I just let it happen.

Gene tried to help, he was running after me. But it was to late, I was pulled out of the dream. I could feel my cheeks were soaked with my tears. Agitated and confused, I just don't know anymore. "Mai are you okay?" I just blinked. Nami sighed and then said, "don't ever scare me like that just please don't." _'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Nami.'_ I can't speak those words even as tears stream down my hallow cheeks. Nami sighed as she wiped away all my tears, then kissed my forehead." I'm sorry Mai I didn't mean to make you sad, it's just I got so worried when you didn't wake up."

Apparently it was already morning and I didn't wake up at all last night. Now in my school uniform and strapped down in my small pink wheel chair. I'm in the special kid section or as they call it the special kid ward. The only place I can go to get my education while still paralyzed. It's in a really hard to get into school. Only I was taken in by one of the schools best student teacher Nami Taki. After she toured a hospital that I was brought to two years ago, a few weeks after 'they' left me behind to rot. I was found paralyzed in my old apartment. I don't know what happened I just woke up couldn't speak or move. I was lucky my rent was due and I was late for payment. Otherwise I would have never been found.

Now I reside in a new school in my third year of high school. I don't have many friends, but many of the normal students love to sit and talk to me about their problems and funny stories and secrets. Because they know I'll listen and never tell anyone. Yet they never bothered to ask me how I felt, or even tried to become actual friends with me. Not like they could, but it would be nice to actually see one of them try to at least.

I can't seem to stop thinking about last night, I saw Gene but how I don't think I want to know. That'd just bring back unwanted or unnecessary thoughts about, 'them'. But if I did see him and wasn't just a dream does that mean he's back? No, no it can't mean that could it? My thoughts cut off by my chair being wheeled outside. "Mai it's time to sit outside for awhile and get some fresh air." Nami said softly soon stopping under a cherry blossom tree, My favorite spot. The pink petals falling softly all around me. Peaceful and very tranquil it almost makes me forget my troubles.

 _'Your pitiful no wonder they left you... to... die.' 'Your just a pile of dirt no one wants to keep.' 'Why won't you leave me alone!'_ I scream in my head the voices just won't go away. I open my brown orbs and just stare of into space as always. Till my orbs meet a pair of sky blue ones. Never taking my eyes of them. It was a guy in a black track suit with a kid who has blond hair and yellow orbs. They seem surprised that I noticed them, and a little startled. _'Why do they seem so familiar?'_ I ponder to myself, my eyes never leaving theirs.

They start to walk towards me. Soon reaching me they sit in front of me, moving my eyes back to theirs. We just stayed like that till one of them spoke. "So you can see us." They sat there waiting for an answer. I blink twice hoping they understand My form of nod. They just looked at each other then back at me. "You can't speak can you?" I blink twice for I can't. They just nod their heads at me. "Well I'm Yato and this is Yukine." Yato says motioning to the blond boy beside him. I blink twice again, then motion with my eyes to my peach jacket with my name stitched in light purple. "Oh so your names Mai," Yukine stated after reading my name from my jacket. I blinked twice once again. Yukine nodded understanding that I was confirming what he said using my eyes. Yato looked very lost and confused. Motioning with my eyes to Yato, Yukine noticed his expression, he then explained what I was doing. Yato now finally understanding what I was doing looked grateful towards Yukine.

"How about we hang out sometime, will we find you here at this time?" Yato asked. I blinked once then I blinked again twice after a few moments. "Oh so only on weekdays?" Yukine asked. I blinked twice again. Soon they had to go leaving me with a promise to see them again.

After school let out Nami and I went home.

I spent the whole time in my room laying on my bed, thinking about Yato and Yukine. My eyes soon drifting closed with a flutter. As I listen to the wind and leaves being blown around, from my open window. It was so calm and beautiful, till I fell asleep.

I woke up in the astral plane once again. Gene hovering over me, "Mai your back." Still unable to move or reply I just lay there, and stare into his eyes. Sighing he sits down next to me, then places me onto his lap. I just blink wondering why I'm here and if this is really happening to me.

"You know they're looking for you." I wanted to shout at him, too panic, But all I did was sob quietly. "Mai," I hear to voices shout simultaneously. I look over and see Yato and Yukine running to me. Im soon lifted up by Yukine, Gene looking horrified and a little pissed off once he sees them. I can tell he knows them from somewhere but I don't know how.

I'm soon woken up, I notice it's still dark out but I'm not in my room I'm in some sort of shrine slash shop. I see Yato and Yukine now looking at me. "What just happened" surprised to hear my voice for the first time in two years, I visibly flinch. "I-I can talk, how?" I ask. "Your kinda not in your body anymore and I think it's our fault," Yato says nervously scratching the back of his neck. "Well how did it happen?" I ask him. "Well when you met us I think you already had a connection to the astral plane, or the far shore," Yato explains. "So to prove it we traveled there and found you with Gene." Yato says gritting his teeth. "What do you have against Gene?" I ask tilting my head to the side slightly. "It's not that I have anything against him it's just he's not supposed to summon who ever he wants to the plane. What he's doing is like playing with fire. It could make or brake you," Yato says.

"So all those times I went to sleep he was the one summoning me?" I ask shocked at this revelation. "Apparently so," muttered Yato. "So he could have killed me!?" I shriek. "Yes he could have but your lucky your not dead," Yato says in a serious tone. "But I haven't seen him since his twin, my old boss Naru was here. When the team and I worked on paranormal cases." I explained to Yato and Yukine. "Maybe if he has a connection to his twin and he's now suddenly summoning you again. It could mean that his twin, Naru I think that's his name? Is back," Yukine said finally speaking for the first time since I've been here.

I woke up in my bed to the shower running. Nami must be showering before school. I wait patently for her to finish. After awhile she gets out dressed and ready. "Good morning Mai," Nami greeted me. I just stayed still it's not like she expects me to respond...I think?

We got to school a little late, just not late enough to need a late pass. I'm being wheeled up the ramp to the overly colorful classroom. After she dropped me off the teacher entered and started the lesson for our small class. As she droned on I started dozing off, but the I remembered I shouldn't sleep, I could end up in the astral plane, or far shore as Yato called it.

 _'But I can't help but think when I first entered the plane recently, Gene looked like he'd seen a ghost. What if Gene never summoned me? Could it be possible that I'm subconsciously traveling there without realizing it? So many questions I can't help but think would Naru know what is going on. No we can't think of him he's long gone, and never coming back. Why am I even thinking about that miserable, narcissistic, jerk anyways? He rejected me, why would he come back anyways? Even if he did I can already hear his response, "because there's more paranormal activity here than there is in England." He's so full of himself, what did I ever see in him anyways?'_

I was ranting in my head for so long, I didn't even notice the giant purple creature sitting in front of me. Well that is until Yato and Yukine bursted into the room. My eyes now darting everywhere no one even noticed him? I roll my eyes and just keep starring at the black board. But nope after the creature was slain, apparently Yato had other plans. For example, starring at me the whole damn class. After class Nami hadn't come to get me like she always does.

That's when Yato knelt down in front of me. "Mai something happened"

 **Hey guys tell me what you think, and which version you liked best. Like, vote do what ever it is you do best. Sorry about the cliff hanger but just hold on till the next part because that ones going to be longer than this one. Well thanks for reading, I hope you are enjoying this so far. That's all for now bye bye.**


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